Confessions of a pack rat on a journey to less

Mind map by Paul Foreman and link to article “De-clutter your life”

 http://blog.iqmatrix.com/de-clutter-your-life

The truth is I prefer an uncluttered space. My attempts, however, fall short. I have a tendency to save everything because I believe that it may be useful later. This habit is exasperated by my growing collection of books and research material for different writing projects along with my collection of supplies for sewing, crocheting, mix-media art and scrap booking.

I have closets, cabinets and shelves stuffed with fabrics, threads, yarns, paints, craft paper. I tell friends, my entire home is an art studio. You can find a creative work underway in almost every room of my home. The mixed-media arts are a magnet for all sorts of items, some of which most people would discard. The artist in me knows even an empty box or piece of wood can be repurposed for one of my nicho shrine projects.

But the art and craft supplies are not alone in taking space in my home. When my husband and I bought our home 21 years ago, it took us several years to purchase furniture and fill the rooms. As a young couple with two young children we never imagined that our once spacious home would be filled with an excess of accumulated possessions we hold on to. It is easy for this excess to clutter our living spaces and such clutter is not conducive to a healthy home or work space.

We have fallen prey to overindulgence and the trap of consumerism. When we first got married 27 years ago I made the ornaments for our first Christmas tree. The day after Christmas we started a tradition of going to the half-off sales to buy decorations for future Christmases. We have since amassed boxes full that sit in our attic 11 months of the year. We have accumulated so much that we started putting up a second tree.

Pope Francis in his encyclical Laudato Si’: On Care for Our Common Home appealed to everyone to consider how we are caring for our environment. In his appeal, he even addressed what he calls the “ecology of daily life,” the setting in which we live our lives.

In the section “Joy and Peace,” he notes Christian spirituality “encourages a prophetic and contemplative lifestyle, one capable of deep enjoyment free of the obsession with consumption.” He said, “We need to take up an ancient lesson, found in different religious traditions and also in the Bible. It is the conviction that “less is more”. A constant flood of new consumer goods can baffle the heart and prevent us from cherishing each thing and each moment.”

My husband asked me for my Christmas list in November. The truth is I don’t need anything. What I need is to let go. I am embarrassed by my weakness for sales, the excess we’ve accumulated, and my failure to purge what I do not need.

The Holy Father’s words resonate as I commit myself to simplify and create a healthy space to work and to live. He said, “Christian spirituality proposes a growth marked by moderation and the capacity to be happy with little. It is a return to that simplicity which allows us to stop and appreciate the small things, to be grateful for the opportunities which life affords us, to be spiritually detached from what we possess… This implies avoiding the dynamic of dominion and the mere accumulation of pleasures.”

My father died in August this year, and my siblings and I have the task now to go through what he left behind. It pains me to see how much he held on to after my mother’s death 23 years ago. He still had boxes of her costume jewelry. The truth is I still have boxes of some of her craft items. I call them “las cajitas de posibilidades” (boxes of possibilities). 

I believe my father would have lived his last years with less stress if he had gotten rid of roomfuls of furniture and possessions he no longer needed.

As I continue on my pilgrimage, I want to change my pack rat ways and let go by purging myself of the excess in my life. I realize too, it’s about making time to organize and make decisions on what stays and what goes; what are the essentials. Sometimes we have to evaluate how much value we assign to possessions.  After all, when we die we’re not taking anything with us. One of my biggest fears is the clutter I will leave behind when I die.

Susan V. Vogt in her book “Blessed by Less: Clearing Your Life of Clutter by Living Lightly” gives some practical tips to what she calls “living lightly.” She started her journey of letting go one Lent when she decided to give away an item a day. This Advent leading into Christmas, I plan to do the same.

We are each called to be good stewards. As December moves us into a new year, I look forward to the possibilities that living lightly will create, including making more space to focus on what is important starting with spiritual growth. Already I see the difference with the small steps we have taken in our office where a cleaner, uncluttered environment allows us room to concentrate on the work before us.

Moving forward, this prayer from St. Ignatius Loyola offers us some focus on letting go of not just material possessions but of other tendencies as well.

Take Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou hast given all to me. To Thee, O lord, I return it. All is Thine, dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. Give me Thy love and thy grace, for this is sufficient for me.

(Originally published in December 2015 edition of The Valley Catholic newspaper) 

¡Siempre Adelante! We move in the direction of hope

What would you do if you were left alone on Mars?

Each morning we make the choice on how to face our day. Sometimes, we can get discouraged by circumstances and the challenges before us, those in our personal lives and those on a grander scale. Saint Junipero Serra, recently canonized by Pope Francis during his U.S. Papal Visit in September, lived by the motto: ¡Siempre Adelante! Always move forward.

Pope Francis at the Canonization Mass in Washington, D.C., opened his talk recalling the words of St. Paul, “Rejoice in the Lord always! I say it again, rejoice!” “This command,” said the Holy Father, “resonates with the desire we all have for a fulfilling life, a meaningful life, a joyful life... Something deep within us invites us to rejoice and tells us not to settle for placebos which simply keep us comfortable.”

“At the same time, though,” he added, “we all know the struggles of everyday life. So much seems to stand in the way of this invitation to rejoice. Our daily routine can often lead us to a kind of glum apathy which gradually becomes a habit, with a fatal consequence: our hearts grow numb. We don’t want apathy to guide our lives… or do we?”

How opportune that in November we take time to give thanks for the blessings in our lives. Even the feasts of All Saints Day and All Souls Day remind us to celebrate life. We honor the memory of the saints in heaven and all our ancestors who went before us.

As we give thanks, we can also take time to reflect on the direction our lives are moving. Are they moving in the direction of hope? Are we taking steps to bring joy to others, to reach out to our brothers and sisters in need? Or are we letting apathy guide our day?

No matter what is occurring in our lives, no matter the challenges, we must move forward. There are some noteworthy takeaways from the movie “The Martian” about an astronaut left behind on Mars when his team thought he was dead.

The astronaut Mark Watney, played by Matt Damon, never gave up when he awoke and found himself alone on the planet. While some might have given up in the face of the extreme odds of survival, he instead took action. He looked at every possible way to stay alive. He remained positive, focused and looked for solutions.

The Martian is a story about survival and perseverance. Sometimes our days can feel like we are on Mars, alone and miles from a solution to our problems. Each day we wake does not come with a guarantee that it will be easy, but guided by our faith and trust in God we can find the courage to move forward. Don’t panic. Just as the astronaut in The Martian, take time to figure out what comes next. He did not give up on life or remain idle waiting for someone to come and save him.

We read in Sirach 15:14, 17 “God in the beginning created human beings and made them subject to their own free choice. Before everyone are life and death, whichever they choose will be given them.”

Just as the astronaut Mark Watney had to overcome one obstacle after another to the point of what could have led him to defeat, the world too presents us with a slew of challenges. The headlines remind us daily about the struggles in our communities and around the world. 

We read about the plight of migrants and refugees who embark daily on dangerous journeys trying to flee from violence. In the midst of this humanitarian crisis are stories of hope, of men and women who take the only action they can to save their children. Here in our community, Catholic Charities of the Rio Grande Valley helps 50 to 100 people each day. More than 25,000 have received assistance at the respite center at Sacred Heart Church in McAllen since it opened in June 2014.

We read too about growing infringement on religious freedom here in our own country. Most tragically, we have also heard about the horrors of human trafficking and the profiting from the organs of unborn children.

Bishop Flores in his column which we published in our October edition, “The Dismembered children will rise to judge us,” reminds us “We cannot relent.” He said, “We will continue to sound the drum, today and tomorrow and beyond.”

The bishop stressed we need to “Let state and local officials who are slow to express the truth to higher levels of government know that the nation is bleeding and the trafficking in unborn children must end.” “Let our faith in the Lord’s promise strengthen us to fight unceasingly to help our nation find its soul and reason again,” he said. 

There is much work ahead for each of us. We must continue to speak up for the vulnerable. We must look for ways to make a difference. Thankfully, we are not alone on our journey. Let us remember Saint Junipero Serra’s motto ¡Siempre adelante! We must keep moving forward.

(Originally published in November 2015 edition of The Valley Catholic newspaper) 

We do not walk alone on the journey

Rosa Valencia
1959 - 2015

We never know how a person we meet will impact our lives. Unfortunately sometimes it takes a death to make us reflect on the particular encounters and what they meant.

The month of August came with great loss. My father passed way after a four-month health struggle. While our faith assures us he is in a better place, we are still dealing with the loss for which we were not prepared. It will take some time before I can write about this part of the journey and the significance my father had in my life.

In August, another death took a friend and mentor. The Rio Grande Valley lost an astute business women who was guided by her faith in God. Rosa Valencia, who lived life boldly, always speaking up for herself and for others, died after a long battle with cancer at the age of 55.

As the founder and president of Homes of America, a successful manufactured home retail company, Rosa epitomized how a person with determination could accomplish her goals. She crossed into the United States as an immigrant when she was 19 years old, learned to speak English and worked three jobs to pay for her studies at St. Edward’s University in Austin, where she earned her Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration and Management.

Rosa came to the United States with three goals. She wanted to be the first in her family to earn a college degree; second, to provide financial support for her parents; and third, provide jobs for people like herself. She accomplished all three and went beyond.

Pope Francis reminds us often about the encounter, about the people we meet and the moments we share. On my pilgrimage, I have been graced with people who have mentored me at different points of my journey. Seventeen years ago I met Rosa on a pilgrimage to the Marian Shrines in Europe. I was inspired by the unwavering faith of the women on this pilgrimage. Rosa was among them. As an introvert who tends toward the reserved in my own approach to life, I admired Rosa’s boldness in everything she did, even how she said her name – RRRRRRRooooooosA.  

Rosa introduced me to St. Teresa of Avila and St. Therese of Lisieux. I still have a book she gave me about the Little Flower, “The Story of a Soul.”  She told me when we were Avila to pay attention to the scent of roses, their fragrance a possible indicator the saints or the Blessed Virgin Mary have heard your prayer.

In my estimation, mentors are important. You learn from the personal encounter what can’t always be transmitted through books or university classrooms. Mentors help us see some of our blind spots, they share the knowledge of their experience, shed light on territory that may be new to us. Their example can also reinforce what we know to be true.

Among the lessons we can all learn from Rosa: 1. Share your faith without apology. 2. Live joyfully. 3. Be bold, speak your mind, otherwise you won’t be heard. 4. Strive for excellence. 5. Be available for others. We are here to serve.

Few know that while she was receiving treatment at M.D. Anderson, Rosa went to daily Mass when her health permitted, and after Mass she hand washed the altar linens. Even in illness she found ways to serve the Lord.

Through her business acumen and strong work ethic, Rose ran a successful business. She knew what she wanted in life and pursued it tirelessly. She did not apologize for insisting on the best from herself and her employees. “Top of the line, first class,” she would say. Rosa did not accept mediocrity.

Knowing she managed a large team, I asked for her advice on motivating and management. She said it starts with empowering people to do what is expected and then holding them accountable. Her advice at other times gave me the courage to start new projects. Thanks to her guidance, we added a roundtable segment on Diocese Insight to address women’s issues.

Anyone who spent time with Rosa, knows she was passionate about life. Her smile and energy were contagious. Rosa desfruto de su vida. She lived the joy of the Gospel, no matter the situation. She often recited her favorite prayer from St. Teresa of Avila, “Nada te turbe, nada te espante, todo se pasa. … Quien a Dios tiene nada le falta. ¡Sólo Dios basta!” (Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you, all things are passing away. … Whoever has God lacks nothing; God alone suffices.)

Even as she favored the dramatic, she humbled herself before the Lord, and credited him for her success. In a 2007 article in McNews magazine she said, “It’s not me. It’s all through his mercy and hard work. I better never forget who is the real boss!”

She said, “It does not matter how financially successful you are, do not let power and money own you... Give credit where credit is due and always show an attitude of gratefulness. The Bible says that to whom much has been given, much is expected (Luke 12:48).”

Rosa supported her Church and her community.  For 19 years she served as a lector and an extraordinary minister of Holy Communion at the Basilica of Our Lady of San Juan del Valle – National Shrine. She was most kind and generous to the religious sisters in her life. She cared for them selflessly like a mother hen. She referred to them as “spiritual mothers” for the work they do in God’s vineyard. She reminded me often to make sure to acknowledge them at Mother’s Day.

Bishop Daniel E. Flores has said, “The Christian life is about being attentive to the person we’re with, attentive to the way we’re called upon to respond to their need, or them to our need. Estamos caminando juntos. We are walking together on this road.”

I am grateful that we do not walk alone. Just as Rosa was attentive to the people in her life, I pray that my own alertness to each encounter will grow.  I am grateful for Rosa’s example.  She lived life on a grand scale, her days filled with joy in service to others. May she rest in peace. 

(Originally published in September 2015 edition of The Valley Catholic newspaper) 

Are we paying attention yet?

Sometimes I like to hit the snooze button on my alarm in the morning, bargaining for a few extra minutes of sleep. I know I’m not the only one guilty of this habit. Unfortunately, the snoozing, according to scientists, can hinder how we start our day. You’re not really getting extra sleep time, it’s just taking longer to wake up and get the day started.

Pope Francis has been trying to wake us up. Through his actions and his words he is prompting us to live the joy of the Gospel, to respond to the most vulnerable in our midst, to live a life modeled after Christ. But are we paying attention and adjusting our steps accordingly.

“I am counting on you ‘to wake up the world,’” the pope wrote to consecrated men and women in his letter announcing the Year of Consecrated Life. He urged them, during his meeting with superiors general and men’s religious orders, “Be witnesses of a different way of doing things, acting, living! (Show) it’s possible to live differently in this world.”

While he addressed his letter to consecrated men and women, we too can heed his expectations. “Radical evangelical living is not only for religious: it is demanded of everyone,” he said. He adds, “In scanning the horizons of your lives and the present moment, be watchful and alert.”

Given our day-to-day obligations and the countless distractions in our lives, our alertness level to what really matters may be at risk. Not only has modern technology facilitated an overload of information, our own personal interests and short attention spans keep us spinning sometimes in too many directions. “Cada loco con su tema.” This Spanish dicho points to how each person has his own interest. You can see this on the social media sites – Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Pinterest, Instagram. Most sites are keeping track of what’s trending, and hashtags allow us to search for posts about a specific topic.

God has blessed us with an abundance of options, it is up to each of us to be attentive and selective. We need to pause periodically, wake up from our routine to take an inventory of what gets our attention versus what needs our focus. Are we paying attention to what Pope Francis is saying, to what the Gospels are calling us? Are we taking action or opting instead to hit the snooze button?

I fear we live in a world with walking zombies. Bishop Daniel E. Flores has written and talked about the poverty of indifference and individualism, “a culture that neither hears the cry of the poor, nor sees their suffering. He said, “at the bottom of indifference is an attitude that says: If it does not affect me, I don’t really care.”

In July our communications team took some time to set our goals and objectives for the year. The process helped us examine if our efforts were focused accordingly in carrying out our ministry. I think it is helpful to do this on a personal level as well. I find writing poetry helps me slow down and reflect. My father’s illness also jolted me to a more alert state. I had to tame my workaholic tendencies and focus on my father. I kept reminding myself, “Todo tiene su tiempo. (Ecclesiastes 3)”  

If we are always operating on triage mode, moving from one project to the next, we might find ourselves not pausing at times long enough to pray or pay attention to the people in our lives, or to even take note and give thanks for God’s graces.

The Church in her wisdom gives us the liturgical season and the different feast days to help us refocus our attention throughout the year. Also, Mass and our faith devotions work in the same way, just as Pope Francis’ does with his homilies, his pastoral visits to different countries and his encyclicals. His most recent encyclical on the environment, “Laudato Si: On Care of Our Common Home,” released June 18, asks us to consider if we are paying attention to our shared home and if we are doing our part to care for the gift God has given us.

The world is spinning in many directions. It behooves us to wake up, pay attention, and take action when it comes to our faith lives as well as to what is happening in the public square. We need to raise our voices to ensure we respond to the needs in our communities near and far and to maintain religious freedom in our country. Pope Francis wants us to make noise, to evangelize the Good News. We can’t do that if we keep hitting the snooze button.

(Originally published in August 2015 edition of The Valley Catholic newspaper) 

Our never-ending quest for balance

Sitting in a hospital waiting room, we worry, we pray, we try to find distractions; we have time to think, and ultimately our own health and the state of balance in our lives is called into question. 

It is unfortunate a health scare or crisis jolts us into a personal check up on the state of our own lives, and this never-ending quest for balance especially given our tendency to rush from one appointment or task to the next.

In my case, I see it as a quest for the grace to be present in the moment before us with the peace of mind trusting Christ is always at our side. When a loved one is in the hospital, it reminds us life is a gift we must honor.

While my brother and I waited for my father, I observed other families waiting. Everyone put work and other responsibilities aside and were present for each other, present in the moment. Not the best of times, when a loved one is undergoing surgery, but a testament to the power of family coming together to support one another. I can see how these moments contribute to strengthening the bond within a family and I think too, to the healing process of a loved one.

Pope Francis continually reminds us, “The Gospel, radiant with the glory of Christ’s cross, constantly reminds us to rejoice.” But how can we find joy if we are busy with our task-oriented days, caught up in anticipating what comes next? Bishop Daniel E. Flores said, “Sometimes we miss Lent because we’re waiting for Easter.” “Los concentramos en lo que anticipamos (We concentrate on what we anticipate).”

He said, “The Lord wants to teach us that we have to appreciate every moment for what it means. Sometimes we miss the meaning of the moment we’re living, because we’re waiting for the moment that’s going to happen.”

Not only do we miss the moment, we get dizzy in the whirlpool of overwork. Thomas Merton wrote about what he referred to as a modern violence – “activism and overwork.” The word violence startled me. It made me stop to consider the implications.

Merton said, “There is a pervasive form of modern violence to which the idealist...most easily succumbs: activism and over-work. The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of its innate violence. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone in everything is to succumb to violence.

The frenzy of the activist neutralizes his (or her) work... It destroys the fruitfulness of his (or her)...work, because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful.”

How many of us are guilty of multitasking? Research studies indicate multitasking is not healthy or productive, and can even lower IQ.

Pope Francis in his Apostolic Exhortation, “Evengelii Gaudium” (“The Joy of the Gospel”), writes, “The  problem  is  not  always  an  excess  of  activity,  but  rather  activity  undertaken  badly, without adequate motivation, without a spirituality  which  would  permeate  it  and  make  it  pleasurable. As  a  result,  work  becomes  more  tiring than  necessary,  even  leading  at  times  to  illness. Far from a content and happy tiredness, this is a tense, burdensome, dissatisfying and, in the end, unbearable fatigue.”

So in this never-ending quest to find balance and celebrate the joys in our lives, what steps can we take? The answers are not a mystery – Mass, the Eucharist, prayer, solitude. The challenge is making time for each. As we refocus our energy, we learn to value the moment before us, we value each encounter with one another. 

I find St. Ignatius of Loyola’s Daily Examen helpful to this end. The exercise helps us find God in all things. We can’t do this if we are rushing from project to project, event to event, from phone calls to emails and texts. We don’t even enjoy a sit-down meal sometimes, opting instead to rush through the nearest drive-through restaurant for a fast-food selection.

As we examine the desolations and consolations in our day, we can determine where we need to make adjustments. Hopefully we can do this before a crisis strikes and forces us to make such adjustments.

Pope Francis notes, “What is needed is the ability to cultivate an interior space which can give a Christian meaning to commitment and activity. Without prolonged moments of adoration, of prayerful encounter with the word, of sincere conversation with the Lord, our work easily becomes meaningless; we lose energy as a result of weariness and difficulties, and our fervor dies out. The Church urgently needs the deep breath of prayer…” (262, Evengelii Gaudium)

Just as fasting and detoxification helps remove toxins from our body, we need to find ways to detox ourselves from our overburdened schedules. We need to find time for prayer. Sometimes letting go of the excesses in our day, makes room for what’s important. Less is better than more. As Henry David Thoreau wrote, “I make myself rich, by making my wants few.” I add to this, I make myself rich by slowing the pace and letting God take the lead.  

If we don’t take the necessary steps, we will likely find ourselves forced to take them. As I write this, my father remains in a long-term acute care hospital in ICU, unaware of the complications that transpired after his tumor was removed on April 9. Our family is coming to terms with the shock, and learning just how precious life is.

(Originally published in June 2015 edition of The Valley Catholic newspaper)

The Paschal Triduum & the Altars of Repose

At the start of the Lenten journey, 40 days seemed like a long time. But while they passed too quickly, I look forward now to these holy days of the Paschal Triduum. Each year I marvel at the graces that flow during each of the Holy Week observations.

A year ago I made my first Holy Thursday pilgrimage to seven “Altars of Repose.” Here is a story I wrote about my experience.

Spending time with our Lord: Visit to seven Altars of Repose an ancient tradition

BROWNSVILLE — This past Triduum my husband and I shared a new pilgrimage experience, new to us as it is actually an ancient tradition of visiting seven Altars of Repose on Holy Thursday. The practice is linked to the early Christian custom of visiting sites which were significant to Christ’s Passion.

In Rome, pilgrims visit seven basilicas (St. Peter, St. Paul Outside the Wall, St. John Lateran, St. Mary Major, Santa Croce in Gerusalemme, St. Lawrence Outside the Walls and St. Sebastian). In recent times, when seven churches are not possible, making it to at least three suffices.

I had heard about the tradition, but had not paid much attention until an intern last year recounted how he and his friends delighted in their visit from one church to the next. Bishop Emeritus Raymundo J. Peña for years practiced the tradition, and Bishop Daniel E. Flores shared photos of his own visits on his blog one year.

Bishop Flores said it gives him great joy to see how the faithful prepare a place to receive the Lord after the Sacrament is taken in procession at the end the Holy Thursday liturgy, and to see young people and families spending time in adoration and prayer. The procession with the Sacrament symbolizes the Lord going out to face the Passion.

For my husband and me it was a grace-filled experience and a perfect start to the Triduum. God’s graces overflowed that evening as we visited the Altars of Repose at seven different churches. We started at the Immaculate Conception Cathedral in Brownsville and made our way to our home parish St. Anthony Church in Harlingen. My husband and I chose churches that connected us to our families and sacraments. 

Among the churches we visited were Our Lady of Guadalupe Church where I was baptized; St. Joseph Church where my husband received all his sacraments of initiation and St. Luke Church, my parish church until I moved away and where we were married 26 years ago. The pilgrimage filled us with immense joy. We also visited Holy Family Church in Brownsville and St. Benedict Church in San Benito.

As empty nesters we are still adjusting to our children, young adults now, living away from home. I miss our family tradition of walking the Stations of the Cross together on Good Friday and preparing Easter baskets and painting cascarones in the days leading up to Easter.

Our Thursday pilgrimage took us on a nostalgic “This is your life” tour. Fue un recordido de memorias. As we visited the different churches in Brownsville we drove past places bursting with history from our youth and growing years. We drove by both our elementary schools and playgrounds that are nearly gone now; we passed by my husband’s middle school and our high school – Homer Hanna High; we passed by old neighborhoods, favorite hamburger joints, streets where I learned to drive.

Each Altar of Repose afforded us time with Christ, time for prayer, and time to remember the blessings in our lives, and always the Lord was at our side. During our drive time from one church to the next, we shared stories and talked about how some things have changed and how some remain intact.

Some churches felt particularly like home. At Our Lady of Guadalupe Church, where I was baptized, I could hear my mother’s voice. I remember the pews we sat in at the time toward the back of the church. I remember she pointed to the altar and told me Christ was behind the closed doors in the gold tabernacle. “Ahi esta Cristo,” she said. Maybe I was four or five. I remember I puzzled about her comment for a long time, trying in my child’s mind to make sense of what she meant.

I wanted to spend more time in each of the churches, but conscious of the time, we had to move on to make sure we made it to all seven before midnight when Adoration ends on Holy Thursday. Each altar was surrounded with bouquets of flowers and candles that flickered to give light in the darkness. Each carefully prepared and adorned so that the faithful could spend time in silence and meditation before the Lord. No one was sleeping. Everyone was keeping watch in the “Garden of Gethsemane.”

Along the way we saw people we knew who were taking part of the ancient tradition of visiting the different Altars of Repose that evening. You could feel the joy that lifted each of us on our Maundy Thursday pilgrimage.

At St. Luke Church, it was comforting to hear the familiar voice of Helen Vargas, who was leading the children in prayer before the Altar or Repose. It felt like home. Helen was my confirmation teacher and the choir director 32 years ago when I attended there. How beautiful that she continues to teach new generations the traditions of our faith.

When we arrived in Harlingen, we ended at St. Anthony Catholic Church, our home parish where our son and daughter received their sacraments. The Altar of Repose was set up in the original church which is now used as a parish hall and as a cafeteria for the Catholic school. The doors opened out to the street where passing cars could glimpse the glimmering candles before the Blessed Sacrament.

What a blessing to see so many keeping watch with Christ, and continuing the ancient tradition. Our pilgrimage reaffirmed how God has been constant in our lives and remains so. I pray for the grace to honor the days he provides and that I may be constant in my attempts to listen and follow his direction in the days to come. 

(Originally published in May 2014 edition of The Valley Catholic newspaper) 

So many choices: Will "50 Shades" be one of them?

When my daughter was 15 years old, I had to explain to her why I didn’t think the movie “Sex in the City” was appropriate for her to watch. Now that she is a young adult and making her own choices, another movie coming out on Valentine’s Day prompted a conversation about our media selections. It made me think about how careful we are concerning what our children watch, but are we mindful as adults of our own media consumption habits?

How blessed we are that God loved us into being and gives us free will to make our own choices, to shape our own lives. Our journey is paved with choices. “God willed that man should be ‘left in the hand of his own counsel,’ so that he might of his own accord seek his Creator and freely attain his full and blessed perfection by cleaving to him.” CC 1730

To make good choices, we have to exercise prudence. According to St. Augustine, “prudence is love making a right distinction between what helps it towards God and what might hinder it.”

We are confronted in making good choices when it comes to the books we read, the music we listen to and the movies and television programs we watch. I confess I have not been as discerning and selective as I should have been at times. After all it was entertainment I reasoned, a brief detachment from reality. When we draw from a relativism play book based on a catechesis of a secular culture it’s easy to justify our choices.

However, as the rational beings that God created us, we have a responsibility to pay attention to what we feed ourselves, via our reading and viewing selections. Much has been written about how messages in the media can influence the public and the choices we make. Consider the millions spent by advertisers on commercials.

The flood of messages streaming from the airwaves, newsstands and online sites have distorted how a large segment of the population view relationships between men and women and what constitutes a loving union.

On Valentine’s Day, two movies open in theaters — “Old Fashioned” and “Fifty Shades of Grey.” The movie, “Fifty Shades of Grey,” is based on a book by the same name and is the first in a trilogy by E.L James. The book, aimed at female readers, has sold 100 million copies. It includes “explicit scenes and heavy doses of bondage, dominance and sadism.”

One only has to review the countless reviews to gleam the storyline and content of the book and now movie that have led some to refer to it as­ “Mommy Porn.” Not only have reviewers critiqued the quality of the writing, some have raised concerns about the distorted portrayal of relationships.

Nathan Nazario, producer of “Old Fashioned,” said “It surprises me, honestly — in a culture claiming to advance female independence and equality — that so few powerful voices raise questions about ‘Fifty Shades’”. “Behind the rating euphemism ‘unusual’ lies a crippling cultural fear or unwillingness to say any act is potentially harmful.”

The producers of “Old Fashioned” are promoting it as an alternative to “Fifty Shades” and playing up the differences between the two movies in one of the trailers – exploitation vs. innocence; “Unusual behavior” vs. thoughtful behavior. The Motion Picture Association of America rated “Fifty Shades” R for “strong sexual content including dialogue, some unusual behavior and graphic nudity, and for language.” According to a USA Today article (Jan. 9) The “unusual behavior” term, which has not be used before in rating explanations is likely due to the film’s sexual theme of “dominance and submission.”

Rik Swartzwelder, “Old Fashioned” writer, director, and lead actor, questions “Fifty Shades” long-term effects. “What happens when ‘harmless fantasy’ plays out in the real world — in young lives unsure of what lasting love looks like, much less how to get it?” he asks. “Unquestionably, the stories our culture lifts up influence young audiences.”

Swartzwelder’s script sprang from conversations with fellow singles, he says, struggling to pursue “God-honoring” and long-term love in a world fixed on short-term pleasure. 

St. John Paul II addresses the themes of marriage, family, sexuality and love as a gift of self in “Man and Woman He created them, a Theology of the Body” (TOB).There is much to unpack in this series of 129 talks he gave during his Wednesday audiences from 1979 to 1984.

Michael Waldstein in his introduction on TOB, notes, “The sexual revolution does not sufficiently appreciate the value and beauty of sex. It deprives sex of its depth by detaching it from the spousal meaning of the body. It favors the sexual lie, in which the language of radical gift is overlaid by the contrary language of individual autonomy and the use of persons for pleasure.”

Genevieve Kineke, in her book “The Authentic Catholic Woman,” writes, “Among all of the challenges of our fallen world, in this generation the misunderstanding about the God-given gift of human sexuality are paramount, and correcting them is the preeminent battle of our day.”

We have a say in the battle. We can help correct the misunderstanding by arming ourselves with information and by being prudent about our choices.

I remember as a child and well into my teens, my father was always cautious about what we saw on television. Even shows he deemed “appropriate” he felt the need to constantly remind us that what we were watching was fiction. “You know that’s make believe,” he’d say.

So why worry about the media we choose, especially those categorized as fiction?

The “Family Guide for Using Media” from the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops Committee for Communication, notes, “The media are so much part of us that to recognize their impact, we must step back and consciously think about how they shape our lives and what they are saying. An intelligent use of media can prevent our being dominated by them and enable us instead to measure them by our standards.”

“In this way, even many messages with which we cannot agree, inevitably coming to us from a diverse constellation of media, will not hurt us. They can even be turned to our benefit by whetting our understanding and articulation of what we believe.”

Just as what we eat matters, so does what we choose to read and watch. Bishop Daniel E. Flores on several occasions has said, “You are what you think about. You want to put the good things in your mind. ...It influences how we look at our priorities.”

These days as we swim against the current of popular culture and as my daughter makes her own decisions, I pray that each of us will discern carefully what we select and think critically about the messages that come across in the content. We must also be cognizant that we speak with our choices and how we spend our money. Our choices send a message as to what we value.

(Originally published in February 2015 edition of The Valley Catholic newspaper) 

Making time to climb a mountain

New Year, new possibilities. As much as I like the start of a New Year and the possibilities it brings, I don’t like how quickly the calendar fills with commitments, sometimes to the point of leaving no room to be still. I can only blame myself and my inability to say no, added to my tendency to fill any extra hours to capacity.

As I begin to mark my calendar this New Year, I want to make certain to include time to retreat and climb a mountain. Jesus taught us to retreat, to go up to a mountain top and find time alone to pray. “But he would withdraw to deserted places to pray.” Luke 5:16

Finding time to be alone is one of the reasons I enjoy camping and hiking. In past years I've had the grace to climb some incredible mountains – Mount Sinai in Egypt, Machu Picchu in Peru, Mount Rose in Nevada. Reaching the summit was challenging but the view of God’s creation and the silence was worth each strained muscle. Not only did each hike help me slow my pace, each helped me set aside distractions from my day-to-day routine. The hikes helped me pay attention, to take in the view. The long climbs also gave me time to think and to pray.

Granted, we do not have any mountains in the Rio Grande Valley, but we can set aside time to claim our own space, our metaphorical mountains, to sit in prayer and silence with God. One of my favorite spaces is in my backyard porch, either early in the morning before anyone wakes up or midmornings on weekends when I can sit and listen to the wind playing with the leaves.

While advances in technology have helped us become more efficient, it feels like all the latest gadgets also serve to keep us on a leash around the clock. Not only are we connected 24 hours a day, information streams in from all directions, making it a noisy world to navigate. Sometimes we have to disconnect, make time to be still, to go on a retreat, even if for a few minutes. Silence, solitude, and space help us become better listeners. In our noisy world, given all our distractions, how can we respond to what God is calling us to if we are not attentive to his direction?

“When messages and information are plentiful, silence becomes essential if we are to distinguish what is important from what is insignificant or secondary,” said Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI in his message for World Communications Day in 2012. “Deeper reflection helps us to discover the links between events that at first sight seem unconnected, to make evaluations, to analyze messages; this makes it possible to share thoughtful and relevant opinions, giving rise to an authentic body of shared knowledge. For this to happen, it is necessary to develop an appropriate environment, a kind of ‘eco-system’ that maintains a just equilibrium between silence, words, images and sounds.”

Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI also said, “Silence is an integral element of communication; in its absence, words rich in content cannot exist. In silence, we are better able to listen to and understand ourselves; ideas come to birth and acquire depth; we understand with greater clarity what it is we want to say and what we expect from others; and we choose how to express ourselves.”

Pope Francis reminds us as well, “In the history of salvation, neither in the clamor nor in the blatant, but the shadows and the silence are the places in which God chose to reveal himself to humankind.”

The Annotations to the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, note “the more our soul finds itself alone and isolated, the more apt it makes itself to approach and to reach its Creator and Lord, and the more it so approaches him, the more it disposes itself to receive graces and gifts from his Divine and Sovereign Goodness.”

There are different ways to disconnect, different spaces for prayer and silence – hiking outdoors, participating in a contemplative prayer group, signing up for retreat, Adoration before the Blessed Sacrament, or taking time to garden. Each of us has to find our own mountain where we can retreat to in this New Year.  So instead of making New Year’s resolutions, this year I am going to focus on scheduling time on my calendar to slow my pace and climb a mountain.

(Originally published in January 2015 edition of The Valley Catholic newspaper)