Talking story: Who will tell yours?

Growing up in Brownsville I was formed by two cultures, two languages, two sides of the U.S/Mexico border. Over the years I have come to a better understanding of how this has shaped and influenced the person I am today. We all have a story to share, multiple stories actually.

Pope Francis in his Apostolic Exhortation on the Family, Amoris Laetitia (The Joy of Love), said “Everyone has something to contribute, because they have their life experiences, they look at things from a different standpoint and they have their own concerns, abilities and insights.”

We learn when we give people room to share their experiences and talk about what matters to them. I observed this in April when I spent a full day leading a writing workshop in Alamo with the women who are active in ARISE. Co-sponsored by the Sisters of Mercy of South Central and the Sisters of Charity of the Incarnate Word, ARISE is a community based program that works with colonia families to strengthen their communities by helping residents identify life goals and providing resources to help them reach those goals on their own. The invitation sent by the organizers said the workshop was being offered to build confidence in the bilingual experience through poetry and bring to the surface saved emotions.

Listening to the women’s stories and later reading their feedback reconfirmed for me the need to provide venues for learning and sharing. The women from ARISE shared stories about their childhood, about their children, about where they came from. I have Sister Rose Marie Quilter of the Religious of the Sacred Heart of Jesus to thank for inviting me to lead the workshop and witness the transformative power of storytelling through writing. In the words of Sister Rose, “I can see the women of ARISE growing in confidence in their voice.”

I read and reread the comments because so many shared the same sentiments about their desire to learn and to write their stories, their realities. In her comments about the day’s workshop, Petra Hernandez said “hoy me di cuenta que mi vida y las demás es una historia la cual podemos dar a conocer con frases escritas.” She said she wanted to continue learning because “today I realized that my life and that of others, is a story we can make known with written sentences.”

Why do our stories matter? Stories work on multiple levels. The Bible is filled with them. Stories connect us, help us grow in understanding (of ourselves and others), they give witness to our values and our faith. By taking note of our lived experiences, our stories teach us and can lead to change and growth. They help us see more clearly sometimes. This is one reason journaling is recommended by many spiritual directors. Just as the daily Examen recommended by St. Ignatius of Loyola helps us reflect on the consolations and desolations, those moments that bring us closer to Christ or take us further away, our stories, whether written or told, are a way of paying attention. They can help us see more clearly how God is in everything.

Travel writer Don George said in an interview once, “In writing about it, you appreciate your own experience more. Somehow it becomes deeper and richer.” Also, Dorothy Day, who was recommended for canonization by the U.S. bishops, once referred to writing as “an act of community. It is a letter, it is comforting, consoling, helping, advising on our part, as well as asking it on yours. It is a part of our human association with each other. It is an expression of our love and concern for each other.”

There may be stories we are not ready to share, but by writing about them (for only ourselves), they can be helpful. The Russian poet Yevgeny Yevtushenko makes a strong case for storytelling in his poem “The Unexpressed.” Among the lines that resonate in the poem are, “The unexpressed, / the 

unarticulated / are frightening, / when as fragments / they burn / beneath the skin, / with no way at all/to be scratched out.”

In my writing workshops, I encourage everyone to share their stories with their children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews. If you don’t tell your story, who will? Will it have heart; will it be infused with life and emotion?

My father died in August. I continue to mourn him, but I am grateful that years earlier I started asking him questions every Sunday when he came over for dinner. I learned my lesson after my mother died 23 years ago. I try to remember as much as I can of the stories she shared when I was young, but there is so much more that went untold.

Last summer I learned about the Hawaiian tradition of “talking story,” which is linked to their oral tradition of passing on culture from one generation to the next. The use of this term when I was in Kauai gave what I thought was a casual conversation more significance. It was a respectful way of acknowledging that what people say matters. Whether written or spoken, stories are treasures we pass on from one generation to next. Don’t let yours get buried. Tell your story.

(Originally published in May 2016 edition of The Valley Catholic newspaper)