Endings and the unfinished

Nunc Coepi, Now I Begin

Spiders can spin a web overnight. Several mornings, when rushing, I have walked right into their sticky threads. We have to be careful and look in the direction we are headed, especially if we don’t want to be caught off guard.

It’s also worthwhile to look at where we’ve been. Each December we publish a year-in-review in The Valley Catholic. It affords us a glance of the faith lived in our Catholic Church here in the Rio Grande Valley. We’ve had some historic moments along with some challenges. Overall, the events of this past year are clear indicators that we are a Church alive, a Church on the move. Somos una iglesia caminante, una iglesia viva.

Pausing from time to time to look at where we’ve been helps us take a notice of and count our blessings. At the same time we can take note of the areas of our lives that need work – we are, after all, works in progress.

One year ends. A new one begins. Taking stock of where we are on the journey helps us. We can make corrections where necessary, take action to reset our course and as needed begin again. What surprised us? What small graces did not escape our attention? What challenges did we confront? What are we most grateful for? How is God at work in our lives?

St. Ignatius of Loyola encouraged the practice of a daily examen. Why not undertake an annual examen and create our own year-in-review?

“Try to be one of the people on whom nothing is lost,” Henry James wrote in his essay “The Art of Fiction.” Through a lens of our faith, we recognize God is in everything.

One morning, when not rushing and getting caught in a spider web, I discovered a new bird’s nest in my front yard. When I wasn’t looking a feathered architect built a home to nourish new life, a new beginning. The sparrow made use of what was available — twigs and grasses, whatever she could carry. In a similar way, we can make use of what is available to nourish our lives.

Among the graces of this year, the moments shared with family and close friends, are the moments I treasure, moments which nourished us. Some were filled with joy, some with tears, some with healing.

Amidst the endings and beginnings, I face a reality of the unfinished — projects I wanted to complete, responsibilities I pushed to the sidelines; all are tasks I must confront as I move forward in the new year.

I realize I have been putting off what to do with my father’s home. I keep telling my sister I am going to do something about the house. However, until I set a timeline and take action, I am not entirely free to focus on my writing and other creative endeavors. An untended task, if we are not careful, can act as an anchor. Identifying the anchor and finding ways to conquer it helps us move forward.

Taking a step back in time can help us gain clarity on the present and inspire us as we learn from our unfolding story. The V Encuentro helped us as a Church to look at our ministries and how we are reaching out to share the Good News, how we are walking together on the journey. Bishop Flores pointed out to delegates who participated in the V Encuentro that the process allowed us to see how we can work together as we share our faith. He also said we can’t be afraid to make mistakes as we proceed, reminding us, we learn from our mistakes.

The Venerable Bruno Lanteri, founder of the Oblates of the Virgin Mary in Turin, Italy, taught that because of God’s grace, we can begin again. Using the Latin phrase, Nunc Coepi, now I begin, he encouraged, “Begin again, not only every day, but every hour of every day.”

From his writings we hear: “If I should fall even a thousand times a day, a thousand times, with peaceful repentance, I will say immediately, ’Nunc Coepi (now I begin), my God, my God.’”

“Holiness does not consist in never failing, but in rising immediately, recognizing our weaknesses and asking God’s forgiveness …”

Just as God is merciful, we should be merciful with ourselves and others. St. Josemaria Escrivá used the phase as well. He wrote, “This (Nunc Coepi) is the cry of a soul in love which, at every moment, whether it has been faithful or lacking in generosity, renews its desire to serve – to love! – our God with a wholehearted loyalty.”

The graces of this past year should nourish and encourage us on the path ahead. Alimentados. ¡Siempre Adelante!

(Originally published in December 2018 edition of The Valley Catholic newspaper)