Why we do what we do

What did I agree to this time? Why did I say ‘yes’? Do you ever ask yourself these questions? I do at times after I commit to something I have never attempted and I realize what this commitment entails. I credit my sister for offering the latest challenge – a sprint triathlon in May. From the moment I said yes to this birthday gift, it gave me four months to train.

Sometimes we need a challenge to jolt us out of our routine. The beginning of a new year can have that effect. Lent too provides some prompting. We all know someone who made a resolution in January to exercise. By February some of these resolutions are forgotten. The animo wears off and we return to our sedentary lifestyles.

Sometimes it’s a health scare that brings us to attention and makes us take action toward living a healthier lifestyle. My husband had a stroke in December. We took this wake-up call seriously. We started making adjustments in our lives, thinking twice about the foods we eat and looking at how we could arrange our schedules to include more exercise.

Why do we wait for a health crisis to shock us into taking care of our well being? Being a good steward, includes taking care of our bodies. We have an obligation to care for the gift of life God has granted. In this Year of Mercy, we are reminded to reach out to others and help those who suffer. But how can we expect to be of service to others, to be God’s hands and feet, if our own health hinders us? As the U.S. bishops note, “As Christian stewards, we receive God’s gifts gratefully, cultivate them responsibly, share them lovingly in justice with others, and return them with increase to the Lord.”

It’s easy to find excuses not to exercise, to promise ourselves we’ll eat healthier tomorrow. How many mañanas will it take before we take action? Now that I am 50 I am certainly more health conscious. My husband’s stroke elevated our consciousness to full alert. To maintain a year-round focus on our health it helps to sign up for an event, such as the triathlon or other community sponsored run and cycling activity. They give us a goal to strive toward. I am thankful the event in May is not a full scale triathlon, but it’s a start. February, American Heart Month, is a good time to set some goals aimed at taking care of our hearts and bodies.

It’s encouraging as well to have a support system. Knowing my sisters and I are all training for the same event serves as motivation to stay on course, as do their weekly texts and phone calls. I know we have some exhausting, sweaty moments to endure, but together they will be joyful.

Another source of encouragement can come from tracking our progress. Our smart phones and now smart watches can log the number of steps we take. Most health websites recommend at least 8,000 steps. They say the average adult walks about 5,900 steps. Once I started tracking my own, I realized how negligent I had become these past two years. I had even ignored my weight gain, which served as an obvious clue to how remiss I was with the responsibility toward my health. Trying to reach a daily goal pushes me to find creative ways to build in physical activity throughout my day.

Setting goals is helpful. We need challenges, the carrot, if you will. Goals spur us to take action. Only by outlining a plan can we take the needed steps to see results. We also need measureable objectives to chart our progress, or if needed, to refocus. A friend and I laughed when on the same day our batteries died, which meant they could not track our steps, our interest in walking that day diminished.

Training to bike, run and swim for the triathlon in May are concrete steps for me to being a better steward of my health. I have had to make some changes in my life. Some mornings this means waking up an hour earlier. While some evenings it means cycling indoors at midnight.

There are varied reasons why we do what we do. Some are fed by obligation, some are doctor prescribed, some are tied to a challenge. In the end, we each have choices to make. 

(Originally published in February 2016 edition of The Valley Catholic newspaper) 

On turning 50 & lessons learned

I was 26 years old when my mother died of cancer at age 50. In the aftermath of her passing and fearful of the limited time I might have, I learned to value each moment. I tried to fit as much as possible into each year. Now as I reach the half century point of my life on January 17 I am grateful for the adventure God has granted me.

The journey did not come without turbulence and challenges, but the dark days did not swallow me.  I am alive, and I feel even more alive because I am not afraid of death. Yes, I have a growing list of what I would like to do and I certainly need more time to try to do it all, but I embrace each day as it comes.

A half-century of stumbles and falls amidst the joys and exhilarating surprises provide for some lessons learned. 1. Be grateful. 2. Don’t take anything for granted, especially people. 3. Don’t be afraid.

There are not enough words to enumerate all I am grateful for in my days. When my daughter was younger, we played a game to see who could list the most blessings in our day. What a joy to see how endless the list became. Principal on my list each day are the people in my life, namely my husband, son and daughter along with my friends who inspire me forward by their words of wisdom, encouragement and example. I am also grateful for the capacity to love and to count myself as a lifelong learner, a citizen of the world with a growing curiosity about everything before me.

While I am not thrilled with some of the physical changes that come with aging – the added weight, new wrinkles and greys, I am thankful that with age comes wisdom, a greater awareness of what matters. In Proverbs 3:13 we read, “Happy the one who finds wisdom, the one who gains understanding!” This wisdom helps us prioritize what’s important in our lives. It teaches us not to take anything for granted.  This helps me live in the moment, being present to people, recognizing that it’s not about me, but about serving others.

It also means we can’t take our health for granted. We can’t stop the aging process, but we can take steps to eat healthier and exercise. Carmen Tafolla, the Poet Laureate for Texas, wrote an open letter to the people in San Antonio when she was diagnosed with cancer urging people to take steps to stay healthy. We take extreme measures to fight cancer once it is diagnosed. Why not take action aimed at prevention? 

Wisdom, which comes from trusting God, helps us let go of our fears. Childhood experiences created a river of fears in me which have taken this half-century to overcome. How refreshing to leave those fears behind, to accept who I am with all my imperfections. Surrendering to the Lord makes the journey less worrisome. Yes, we may stumble along the way. There will be espinitas, but it is part of the growing. Not only am learning to speak up for my beliefs, these days I am more motivated to try something new, especially if it scares me. In 2015, I wrote about one such moment when fear prompted me to accept an invitation to turn some of my poems about my mother into a short play.

Letting go of fear has been part of my faith journey. I have stopped worrying about how many more tomorrows wait. I start this New Year and new chapter ready with anticipation for what comes next, ready to say “yes” to God’s calling. I realize, as St. Ignatius of Loyola notes in his spiritual exercises, I am a work in progress. I also know death does not have the last word. As I wrote in my death poem, “La muerte no triunfa” – “We don’t know when / the ink will dry in our hands, / when the words will stop / mid breath. But we know the hour / will come, the hour for our story’s last page.” In the meantime, I pray my days be an offering and that they may be pleasing to God.

New Year & I Start Wondering

Ushering in a new year sparks both nostalgia and anticipation. Personally I am ready for 2016 and the adventures that wait.

It was an honor to start the year by being included as a guest contributor on the I Start Wondering website which highlights the journey of lifelong learning. Dorian Martin does a great job of finding “people who continually seek ways to stretch and grow as well as resources on which to reflect.” As she notes, “Ultimately, the goal is to encourage you to invest in your curiosity and to follow Albert Einstein’s advice: ‘You have to color outside the lines once in a while if you want to make your life a masterpiece.’”

In this New Year, I certainly want to color outside the lines from time to time. I also continue my focus on living lightly and purging the excess in my life to make room for what matters. Already the results yielded some rewards. After almost a month of decluttering and organizing, I now have a creative space to work and pray. 

My first project of 2016, making a memorial shrine box for a friend, was particularly meaningful. It gave me time to pray and honor the memory of her loved ones who died in 2015.

It is indeed joyful to have space to create. The challenge now, to schedule some time for art throughout the year.

Confessions of a pack rat on a journey to less

Mind map by Paul Foreman and link to article “De-clutter your life”

 http://blog.iqmatrix.com/de-clutter-your-life

The truth is I prefer an uncluttered space. My attempts, however, fall short. I have a tendency to save everything because I believe that it may be useful later. This habit is exasperated by my growing collection of books and research material for different writing projects along with my collection of supplies for sewing, crocheting, mix-media art and scrap booking.

I have closets, cabinets and shelves stuffed with fabrics, threads, yarns, paints, craft paper. I tell friends, my entire home is an art studio. You can find a creative work underway in almost every room of my home. The mixed-media arts are a magnet for all sorts of items, some of which most people would discard. The artist in me knows even an empty box or piece of wood can be repurposed for one of my nicho shrine projects.

But the art and craft supplies are not alone in taking space in my home. When my husband and I bought our home 21 years ago, it took us several years to purchase furniture and fill the rooms. As a young couple with two young children we never imagined that our once spacious home would be filled with an excess of accumulated possessions we hold on to. It is easy for this excess to clutter our living spaces and such clutter is not conducive to a healthy home or work space.

We have fallen prey to overindulgence and the trap of consumerism. When we first got married 27 years ago I made the ornaments for our first Christmas tree. The day after Christmas we started a tradition of going to the half-off sales to buy decorations for future Christmases. We have since amassed boxes full that sit in our attic 11 months of the year. We have accumulated so much that we started putting up a second tree.

Pope Francis in his encyclical Laudato Si’: On Care for Our Common Home appealed to everyone to consider how we are caring for our environment. In his appeal, he even addressed what he calls the “ecology of daily life,” the setting in which we live our lives.

In the section “Joy and Peace,” he notes Christian spirituality “encourages a prophetic and contemplative lifestyle, one capable of deep enjoyment free of the obsession with consumption.” He said, “We need to take up an ancient lesson, found in different religious traditions and also in the Bible. It is the conviction that “less is more”. A constant flood of new consumer goods can baffle the heart and prevent us from cherishing each thing and each moment.”

My husband asked me for my Christmas list in November. The truth is I don’t need anything. What I need is to let go. I am embarrassed by my weakness for sales, the excess we’ve accumulated, and my failure to purge what I do not need.

The Holy Father’s words resonate as I commit myself to simplify and create a healthy space to work and to live. He said, “Christian spirituality proposes a growth marked by moderation and the capacity to be happy with little. It is a return to that simplicity which allows us to stop and appreciate the small things, to be grateful for the opportunities which life affords us, to be spiritually detached from what we possess… This implies avoiding the dynamic of dominion and the mere accumulation of pleasures.”

My father died in August this year, and my siblings and I have the task now to go through what he left behind. It pains me to see how much he held on to after my mother’s death 23 years ago. He still had boxes of her costume jewelry. The truth is I still have boxes of some of her craft items. I call them “las cajitas de posibilidades” (boxes of possibilities). 

I believe my father would have lived his last years with less stress if he had gotten rid of roomfuls of furniture and possessions he no longer needed.

As I continue on my pilgrimage, I want to change my pack rat ways and let go by purging myself of the excess in my life. I realize too, it’s about making time to organize and make decisions on what stays and what goes; what are the essentials. Sometimes we have to evaluate how much value we assign to possessions.  After all, when we die we’re not taking anything with us. One of my biggest fears is the clutter I will leave behind when I die.

Susan V. Vogt in her book “Blessed by Less: Clearing Your Life of Clutter by Living Lightly” gives some practical tips to what she calls “living lightly.” She started her journey of letting go one Lent when she decided to give away an item a day. This Advent leading into Christmas, I plan to do the same.

We are each called to be good stewards. As December moves us into a new year, I look forward to the possibilities that living lightly will create, including making more space to focus on what is important starting with spiritual growth. Already I see the difference with the small steps we have taken in our office where a cleaner, uncluttered environment allows us room to concentrate on the work before us.

Moving forward, this prayer from St. Ignatius Loyola offers us some focus on letting go of not just material possessions but of other tendencies as well.

Take Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou hast given all to me. To Thee, O lord, I return it. All is Thine, dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. Give me Thy love and thy grace, for this is sufficient for me.

(Originally published in December 2015 edition of The Valley Catholic newspaper) 

¡Siempre Adelante! We move in the direction of hope

What would you do if you were left alone on Mars?

Each morning we make the choice on how to face our day. Sometimes, we can get discouraged by circumstances and the challenges before us, those in our personal lives and those on a grander scale. Saint Junipero Serra, recently canonized by Pope Francis during his U.S. Papal Visit in September, lived by the motto: ¡Siempre Adelante! Always move forward.

Pope Francis at the Canonization Mass in Washington, D.C., opened his talk recalling the words of St. Paul, “Rejoice in the Lord always! I say it again, rejoice!” “This command,” said the Holy Father, “resonates with the desire we all have for a fulfilling life, a meaningful life, a joyful life... Something deep within us invites us to rejoice and tells us not to settle for placebos which simply keep us comfortable.”

“At the same time, though,” he added, “we all know the struggles of everyday life. So much seems to stand in the way of this invitation to rejoice. Our daily routine can often lead us to a kind of glum apathy which gradually becomes a habit, with a fatal consequence: our hearts grow numb. We don’t want apathy to guide our lives… or do we?”

How opportune that in November we take time to give thanks for the blessings in our lives. Even the feasts of All Saints Day and All Souls Day remind us to celebrate life. We honor the memory of the saints in heaven and all our ancestors who went before us.

As we give thanks, we can also take time to reflect on the direction our lives are moving. Are they moving in the direction of hope? Are we taking steps to bring joy to others, to reach out to our brothers and sisters in need? Or are we letting apathy guide our day?

No matter what is occurring in our lives, no matter the challenges, we must move forward. There are some noteworthy takeaways from the movie “The Martian” about an astronaut left behind on Mars when his team thought he was dead.

The astronaut Mark Watney, played by Matt Damon, never gave up when he awoke and found himself alone on the planet. While some might have given up in the face of the extreme odds of survival, he instead took action. He looked at every possible way to stay alive. He remained positive, focused and looked for solutions.

The Martian is a story about survival and perseverance. Sometimes our days can feel like we are on Mars, alone and miles from a solution to our problems. Each day we wake does not come with a guarantee that it will be easy, but guided by our faith and trust in God we can find the courage to move forward. Don’t panic. Just as the astronaut in The Martian, take time to figure out what comes next. He did not give up on life or remain idle waiting for someone to come and save him.

We read in Sirach 15:14, 17 “God in the beginning created human beings and made them subject to their own free choice. Before everyone are life and death, whichever they choose will be given them.”

Just as the astronaut Mark Watney had to overcome one obstacle after another to the point of what could have led him to defeat, the world too presents us with a slew of challenges. The headlines remind us daily about the struggles in our communities and around the world. 

We read about the plight of migrants and refugees who embark daily on dangerous journeys trying to flee from violence. In the midst of this humanitarian crisis are stories of hope, of men and women who take the only action they can to save their children. Here in our community, Catholic Charities of the Rio Grande Valley helps 50 to 100 people each day. More than 25,000 have received assistance at the respite center at Sacred Heart Church in McAllen since it opened in June 2014.

We read too about growing infringement on religious freedom here in our own country. Most tragically, we have also heard about the horrors of human trafficking and the profiting from the organs of unborn children.

Bishop Flores in his column which we published in our October edition, “The Dismembered children will rise to judge us,” reminds us “We cannot relent.” He said, “We will continue to sound the drum, today and tomorrow and beyond.”

The bishop stressed we need to “Let state and local officials who are slow to express the truth to higher levels of government know that the nation is bleeding and the trafficking in unborn children must end.” “Let our faith in the Lord’s promise strengthen us to fight unceasingly to help our nation find its soul and reason again,” he said. 

There is much work ahead for each of us. We must continue to speak up for the vulnerable. We must look for ways to make a difference. Thankfully, we are not alone on our journey. Let us remember Saint Junipero Serra’s motto ¡Siempre adelante! We must keep moving forward.

(Originally published in November 2015 edition of The Valley Catholic newspaper) 

We do not walk alone on the journey

Rosa Valencia
1959 - 2015

We never know how a person we meet will impact our lives. Unfortunately sometimes it takes a death to make us reflect on the particular encounters and what they meant.

The month of August came with great loss. My father passed way after a four-month health struggle. While our faith assures us he is in a better place, we are still dealing with the loss for which we were not prepared. It will take some time before I can write about this part of the journey and the significance my father had in my life.

In August, another death took a friend and mentor. The Rio Grande Valley lost an astute business women who was guided by her faith in God. Rosa Valencia, who lived life boldly, always speaking up for herself and for others, died after a long battle with cancer at the age of 55.

As the founder and president of Homes of America, a successful manufactured home retail company, Rosa epitomized how a person with determination could accomplish her goals. She crossed into the United States as an immigrant when she was 19 years old, learned to speak English and worked three jobs to pay for her studies at St. Edward’s University in Austin, where she earned her Bachelor’s Degree in Business Administration and Management.

Rosa came to the United States with three goals. She wanted to be the first in her family to earn a college degree; second, to provide financial support for her parents; and third, provide jobs for people like herself. She accomplished all three and went beyond.

Pope Francis reminds us often about the encounter, about the people we meet and the moments we share. On my pilgrimage, I have been graced with people who have mentored me at different points of my journey. Seventeen years ago I met Rosa on a pilgrimage to the Marian Shrines in Europe. I was inspired by the unwavering faith of the women on this pilgrimage. Rosa was among them. As an introvert who tends toward the reserved in my own approach to life, I admired Rosa’s boldness in everything she did, even how she said her name – RRRRRRRooooooosA.  

Rosa introduced me to St. Teresa of Avila and St. Therese of Lisieux. I still have a book she gave me about the Little Flower, “The Story of a Soul.”  She told me when we were Avila to pay attention to the scent of roses, their fragrance a possible indicator the saints or the Blessed Virgin Mary have heard your prayer.

In my estimation, mentors are important. You learn from the personal encounter what can’t always be transmitted through books or university classrooms. Mentors help us see some of our blind spots, they share the knowledge of their experience, shed light on territory that may be new to us. Their example can also reinforce what we know to be true.

Among the lessons we can all learn from Rosa: 1. Share your faith without apology. 2. Live joyfully. 3. Be bold, speak your mind, otherwise you won’t be heard. 4. Strive for excellence. 5. Be available for others. We are here to serve.

Few know that while she was receiving treatment at M.D. Anderson, Rosa went to daily Mass when her health permitted, and after Mass she hand washed the altar linens. Even in illness she found ways to serve the Lord.

Through her business acumen and strong work ethic, Rose ran a successful business. She knew what she wanted in life and pursued it tirelessly. She did not apologize for insisting on the best from herself and her employees. “Top of the line, first class,” she would say. Rosa did not accept mediocrity.

Knowing she managed a large team, I asked for her advice on motivating and management. She said it starts with empowering people to do what is expected and then holding them accountable. Her advice at other times gave me the courage to start new projects. Thanks to her guidance, we added a roundtable segment on Diocese Insight to address women’s issues.

Anyone who spent time with Rosa, knows she was passionate about life. Her smile and energy were contagious. Rosa desfruto de su vida. She lived the joy of the Gospel, no matter the situation. She often recited her favorite prayer from St. Teresa of Avila, “Nada te turbe, nada te espante, todo se pasa. … Quien a Dios tiene nada le falta. ¡Sólo Dios basta!” (Let nothing disturb you, let nothing frighten you, all things are passing away. … Whoever has God lacks nothing; God alone suffices.)

Even as she favored the dramatic, she humbled herself before the Lord, and credited him for her success. In a 2007 article in McNews magazine she said, “It’s not me. It’s all through his mercy and hard work. I better never forget who is the real boss!”

She said, “It does not matter how financially successful you are, do not let power and money own you... Give credit where credit is due and always show an attitude of gratefulness. The Bible says that to whom much has been given, much is expected (Luke 12:48).”

Rosa supported her Church and her community.  For 19 years she served as a lector and an extraordinary minister of Holy Communion at the Basilica of Our Lady of San Juan del Valle – National Shrine. She was most kind and generous to the religious sisters in her life. She cared for them selflessly like a mother hen. She referred to them as “spiritual mothers” for the work they do in God’s vineyard. She reminded me often to make sure to acknowledge them at Mother’s Day.

Bishop Daniel E. Flores has said, “The Christian life is about being attentive to the person we’re with, attentive to the way we’re called upon to respond to their need, or them to our need. Estamos caminando juntos. We are walking together on this road.”

I am grateful that we do not walk alone. Just as Rosa was attentive to the people in her life, I pray that my own alertness to each encounter will grow.  I am grateful for Rosa’s example.  She lived life on a grand scale, her days filled with joy in service to others. May she rest in peace. 

(Originally published in September 2015 edition of The Valley Catholic newspaper) 

Are we paying attention yet?

Sometimes I like to hit the snooze button on my alarm in the morning, bargaining for a few extra minutes of sleep. I know I’m not the only one guilty of this habit. Unfortunately, the snoozing, according to scientists, can hinder how we start our day. You’re not really getting extra sleep time, it’s just taking longer to wake up and get the day started.

Pope Francis has been trying to wake us up. Through his actions and his words he is prompting us to live the joy of the Gospel, to respond to the most vulnerable in our midst, to live a life modeled after Christ. But are we paying attention and adjusting our steps accordingly.

“I am counting on you ‘to wake up the world,’” the pope wrote to consecrated men and women in his letter announcing the Year of Consecrated Life. He urged them, during his meeting with superiors general and men’s religious orders, “Be witnesses of a different way of doing things, acting, living! (Show) it’s possible to live differently in this world.”

While he addressed his letter to consecrated men and women, we too can heed his expectations. “Radical evangelical living is not only for religious: it is demanded of everyone,” he said. He adds, “In scanning the horizons of your lives and the present moment, be watchful and alert.”

Given our day-to-day obligations and the countless distractions in our lives, our alertness level to what really matters may be at risk. Not only has modern technology facilitated an overload of information, our own personal interests and short attention spans keep us spinning sometimes in too many directions. “Cada loco con su tema.” This Spanish dicho points to how each person has his own interest. You can see this on the social media sites – Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, Pinterest, Instagram. Most sites are keeping track of what’s trending, and hashtags allow us to search for posts about a specific topic.

God has blessed us with an abundance of options, it is up to each of us to be attentive and selective. We need to pause periodically, wake up from our routine to take an inventory of what gets our attention versus what needs our focus. Are we paying attention to what Pope Francis is saying, to what the Gospels are calling us? Are we taking action or opting instead to hit the snooze button?

I fear we live in a world with walking zombies. Bishop Daniel E. Flores has written and talked about the poverty of indifference and individualism, “a culture that neither hears the cry of the poor, nor sees their suffering. He said, “at the bottom of indifference is an attitude that says: If it does not affect me, I don’t really care.”

In July our communications team took some time to set our goals and objectives for the year. The process helped us examine if our efforts were focused accordingly in carrying out our ministry. I think it is helpful to do this on a personal level as well. I find writing poetry helps me slow down and reflect. My father’s illness also jolted me to a more alert state. I had to tame my workaholic tendencies and focus on my father. I kept reminding myself, “Todo tiene su tiempo. (Ecclesiastes 3)”  

If we are always operating on triage mode, moving from one project to the next, we might find ourselves not pausing at times long enough to pray or pay attention to the people in our lives, or to even take note and give thanks for God’s graces.

The Church in her wisdom gives us the liturgical season and the different feast days to help us refocus our attention throughout the year. Also, Mass and our faith devotions work in the same way, just as Pope Francis’ does with his homilies, his pastoral visits to different countries and his encyclicals. His most recent encyclical on the environment, “Laudato Si: On Care of Our Common Home,” released June 18, asks us to consider if we are paying attention to our shared home and if we are doing our part to care for the gift God has given us.

The world is spinning in many directions. It behooves us to wake up, pay attention, and take action when it comes to our faith lives as well as to what is happening in the public square. We need to raise our voices to ensure we respond to the needs in our communities near and far and to maintain religious freedom in our country. Pope Francis wants us to make noise, to evangelize the Good News. We can’t do that if we keep hitting the snooze button.

(Originally published in August 2015 edition of The Valley Catholic newspaper)